Who, What, How, Why?

Thursday, 2 April 2015

God and Lawncare

You will laugh when you read this but as stupid as it may sound, this is exactly what we do! Think on this Easter Weekend when mowing your grass.....







GOD to ST. FRANCIS
Frank, You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
ST. FRANCIS
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD
The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD
They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS

No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD
Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS
Yes, Sir.
GOD
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. 

ST. FRANCIS
You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD
What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a
natural cycle of life. 
ST. FRANCIS
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD
No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD
And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

CATHERINE
'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about.... 

GOD
Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Thanks to Zoe Devlin for sharing and for use of her photos (bar top one which is mine)

A very happy Easter to you all :-)

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Plants: Cherry Blossom

Prunus 'Matsumae Kursar' (Cherry blossom) near the Palm House Kew Gardens

Originally from South-East Asia, you don't have to travel far to see it http://www.flickr.com/photos/kewonflickr/


Sunday, 2 November 2014

Classes have been cancelled

Regrettably the gardening classes I had hoped to run at Luisne are now cancelled due to insufficient numbers. If you're still interested in a 'One to One' class in your own garden or want to team up with a friend, feel free to contact me and remember.... ‪#‎gardeningisgoodforyou‬ 
smile emoticon Happy Gardening


Want to learn how to grow a thriving vegetable and herb garden? Facilitated by myself, Ena Ronayne, this course kicks off on Saturday 7th March 2015 at 10AM (alas the September class didn't run as there wasn't enough participants)
Classes will be held on Saturday mornings from 10am to 1pm. Term begins on the 7th of March 2015 for 4 weeks Click here to register